Mike 的个人资料Mike's Place™照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
Mike's Place™Copy from one, it's plagiarism--Copy from two, it's research. 6月16日 Pee Bandit on the LooseSo, I'm working for the good old government again. Honestly, I can't think of a better employer. It doesn't take Inspector Gadget to figure out why nothing gets done in our country. It has a lot to do with the mentality that for every minute spent working, two minutes must be spent recuperating. We wouldn't want to exhaust ourselves after all. The serious threat of a broken nail or paper cut quickly subdues any ridiculous thoughts of taking initiative or going beyond ones job description. And don't even bother attempting independent thought; it's nearly criminal.
My job isn't very glamorous to say the least. I'm a 'Park Attendant' at a military campground. 'Park Attendant' is a fancy title for someone who checks campers in and out, gives crap to people who break the rules (dogs without leashes, noise complaints, etc), and cleans the bathrooms. And clean the bathrooms I do. 13 toilets, 5 urinals, 8 showers, and one outhouse to be exact. I don't mind cleaning up after people, but not when it comes to their shit; literally. I shouldn't complain too much, since it is a job. And to be honest, it isn't too bad most of the time...
HOWEVER
Why are so many people afraid to flush the damn toilet? Do they think each flush takes a bit of their soul along with it? They go through the trouble to close the lid, but not flush. And I'm not talking the odd determined floaty that successfully evades the flush--I'm talking full on dumps. What the hell? When I lift up the lid to do a little cleaning, there is a brown water saturated blob staring up at me. Appetizing. We all know what happens when we push that little silver lever. If you don't hear the characteristic sound of swirling water, guess what? YOUR CRAP IS STILL THERE! It doesn't grow little feet upon the closure of the lid, and nonchalantly trot away. Unflushed fecal matter is really gross, evermore when it belongs to a stranger. It turns from the very tidy turd form, to nasty, liquid consistency, and vile toxic waste.
For you guys out there, if you're peeing, and the sound turns from liquid on liquid, to liquid on solid, you are no longer peeing in to the toilet. You are either peeing on your foot (hopefully), or peeing on the floor. I can live with a few drops on the rim, and even a few on the floor, but if your accuracy is less than 50%, you have serious problems. You might think I'm joking, but it happened on two consecutive days. Thar be a pee bandit on the loose! I would seriously consider setting up a hidden camera to catch the culprit if not for ethical constraints (okay, maybe I wouldn't, I don't want to see people doing their business). And it's not like the pee was just missing the hole. It was about three feet to either side, which makes me wonder if I'm dealing with a child or not. Do kids have that kind of range?
There are appropriate times and places to trim those pubes ladies and gentleman. I realize the campground is at a beach, and no one wants to look like a spider is crawling out of their bikini bottoms, but common! If you need garden shears to cut through them, it's likely that they won't wash down the drain. One time in particular, the hairs were about three inches long. I don't know what the average growth rate of peoples hair is, but I would gather they hadn't been cut in over a year. If I didn't know what pubic hair looked like (you know, thick and curly), I would have assumed someone got a hair cut in the shower. Why would you choose a public shower to do something like that? Picking wet pubes out of the drain is nasty.
Last, but not nearly least, if you use more than your arms length in toilet paper, it will probably plug the toilet. Every single toilet I've unplugged has had a ridiculous amount of of toilet paper lodged in it. I sometimes wonder if there are ogres with giant asses living in the forest around the campground. A little TP can go a long way. Besides, it's your own body, eliminating the stuff you willingly put in it, so if you need a paper wad with a 6 inch radius shielding your hand from your ass, I don't even want to know what you're protecting yourself from. We all wash our hands anyway (in theory at least)...
In summary, cleaning toilets is shitty (pardon the pun). I am thankful to have a job though, and will keep on doing it with a smile on my face, even if it is a fake smile. I am just so thankful that this is only a temporary job!
 I'm Back!So yeah, I haven't written a blog is well over a month. What can I say, I guess I've gotten really lazy? Truth be told though, I finally got me a job. I'm working part time (about 30 hours per week), and have been occupied with a myriad of other *important* things; primarily NHL playoffs (GO OILERS!), Blue Jays Baseball, and the World Cup of Soccer. I'm totally excited to go back to school in September, and am currently looking for an apartment. If you know of any good places to live in New Westminster, let me know! I haven't been doing very much besides work, however I did have a really good May long weekend, camping with a couple of my friends from UBC.
That's all for this moment in time, but stay tuned for a work related rant very soon. I hope you all have been well!
 5月7日 Round 2 Playoff PredictionsOkay, I realize that this is coming a bit late, but I was busy. My picks have not changed due to the outcomes of the games that have already been played.
Eastern Conference
Ottawa Senators (1) vs Buffalo Sabers (4)
This will be a high flying, high scoring series. It may come down to which team can play the best defence, and which goaltender can stop the most rubber. However, I think that the offensive prowess of the Sens is far superior to that of the Sabres, so look for them to score in bunches. My Pick: Ottawa in 6
Carolina Hurricanes (2) vs New Jersey Devils (3)
This series features two teams coming out of series while playing some very good hockey. Ward of the Canes and Brodeur of the Devils have been playing quite well. In the end, I believe the Hurricanes will be the team to beat in this series, especially if the Staal line can break through the Devil's defence. My Pick: Carolina in 7
Western Conference
San Jose Sharks (5) vs Edmonton Oilers (8)
Edmonton is coming off the biggest upset of the first round, so they have all of the confidence in the world. The problem? They are up against the lethal combo of Thornton/Cheechoo, not to mention Marleau. If the Oiler's can keep those three from scoring, they should have a good chance of winning. However, despite my wish for them to win, I just can't see it happening (I would be glad to be proven wrong though!). My Pick: San Jose in 5
Anaheim Mighty Ducks (6) vs Colorado Avalanche (7)
This series is tough to call. The Ducks have been a hard team to play all season, and the Avalanche are a very veteran playoff team. I am just unsure whether Theodore can backstop the Avalanche to victory, and in the end, I don't think he will. My Pick: Anaheim in 6
 5月4日 Beaten by a MonkeyI think it's safe to say that my career in predicting the playoffs is on the line. TSN's Maggie the Monkey was more successful at predicting the first round outcomes than I was. Here is a summary:
Ottawa vs Tampa Bay
Actual Outcome: Ottawa in 5
My Pick: Ottawa
Maggie's Pick: Tampa Bay
Carolina vs Montreal
Actual Outcome: Carolina in 6
My Pick: Montreal
Maggie's Pick: Carolina
New Jersey vs New York
Actual Outcome: New Jersey in 4
My Pick: New Jersey
Maggie's Pick: New York
Buffalo vs Philadelphia
Actual Outcome: Buffalo in 6
My Pick: Philadelphia
Maggie's Pick: Buffalo
Detroit vs Edmonton
Actual Outcome: Edmonton in 6
My Pick: Detroit
Maggie's Pick: Detroit
Dallas vs Colorado
Actual Outcome: Colorado in 5
My Pick: Dallas
Maggie's Pick: Colorado
Calgary vs Anaheim
Actual Outcome: Anaheim in 7
My Pick: Calgary
Maggie's Pick: Calgary
Nashville vs San Jose
Actual Outcome: San Jose in 5
My Pick: San Jose
Maggie's Pick: San Jose
So, I went 3-5, while Maggie was 4-4 (in accordance with the probability of independent events). Hopefully I can improve in round 2, to avoid the inevitable shame of being beaten by a monkey. So long for now.
 4月30日 What, am I Purple or Something?**Before reading, please note: the following does not in any way insinuate that only Caucasian people are capable of racism; they are merely the people that I have had the most negative experience with**
Yesterday I stood outside McDonald's while waiting for a friend to use the bathroom, when a pickup truck drove up next to me and rolled down the window. Thinking the occupants of the truck were about to ask me a question, I turned and looked at them. Instead of a question, I was treated with, "Go back to the Middle East, you fucking sand nigger!" This type of statement really hurts on more than one level. Obviously it doesn't feel very good that there are people out there who hate me for no other reason than being alive. But on a grander scale, it really hurts that racism still exists, and that I'm not the only one having to deal with it. I'm not worried about myself, because I am lucky enough to have gained a will strong enough not to be broken by incompetent, self glorifying, pathetic, and cowardly losers. I do however worry about all of the children growing up in this supposedly perfect place we call Canada. I do not know what the problem is, but it seems as though our predominantly white population is either oblivious or in denial to the fact that racism is a very real issue. I have been the target of racism on many occasions, with many people around, who choose to either ignore or laugh off the fact that it took place. How can such an important issue be so taboo to talk about? Allow me to highlight some of my more 'memorable' experiences from the past couple of years:
****************************************
*Going to a house party I was threatened with physical violence upon getting out of my car, and a group of people yelling "No niggers allowed!" at me.
*In downtown Vancouver a senile old man walked right up to me and started yelling in my face over and over "You Muslim, you're worse than dirt. I hope you die!" The people around me acted as if nothing was happening.
*In reference to a camping trip I was going on, one person asked about me, "Is that little sand nigger coming?"
*Working in a retail store, I approached a customer to ask him if he needed help. He started talking gibberish, mocking the language that I apparently speak. Then he stopped and said "Oh I forgot for a second. This is Canada, where white people speak English."
****************************************
My list could seriously go on and on, but I will save you the time. The sad thing is that I really don't do anything about it. I just look away dumbfounded. Anything I say will only increase pack mentality, and make things worse. One thing you must keep in mind when dealing with sub-humans is that they go back to their primal instincts when provoked. I can live without seeing them beat their chests and bare their teeth. I just leave them alone, allowing them to get back to throwing poo and picking the fleas off of one another.
And just so you know, I am neither Persian, Indian, Native Canadian, Asian, Mexican, nor African Canadian , as I have been mistakenly called in the past (not that I would have anything against being any of those ethnicities). And you know what? I won't tell you, or anyone else, for that matter 'what' I am anymore. I am me. Despite my constant attempt to be seen as just me, the way I look is always so fascinating to people. I suppose it's because I really don't look like any specific ethnicity. Here is my typical encounter with someone new:
Person: "So Mike, what are you exactly?"
Me: "I'm a human."
Person: "Haha, no really, what are you?"
When asked that, people make me feel as if I'm so different. It really does belittle me. Get the hint. Grow up. Regardless of race, every human on this planet shares similar DNA. In fact, if we did a comparison of my genome with absolutely anyone else on this planet, it would be so close to 100% similarity that we might as well call it exactly the same. Yet I hear racist speak against Asian people and Native Canadians on nearly a daily basis. I have been guilty of doing it myself in the past. Look deep inside of yourself, and answer honestly: When was the last time you made a racially motivated statement/joke? It does not matter if you meant no harm. It does not matter if you were annoyed with some news story on the TV. It does not matter if no one of that race was there to hear you. It is absolutely unacceptable, and I will not tolerate it. We must all begin to regard every person on this earth with equal respect.
Growing up in a place where you can count the number of non-white people with your fingers and toes isn't easy, and I've probably experienced more pure hatred, for absolutely no reason, in 24 years than most Canadian people experience in a lifetime. The reason I love living in Vancouver is that it is such a multicultural centre that race really isn't at the forefront. For that reason alone, I will never live in a small town or city again. Maybe it's the water, but whatever it is, it needs to be stopped. And you know what? It will never be stopped unless people start to accept the fact that it is a problem--nor will it stop if no one swallows their pride and admits that they too are guilty of racially charged behaviour. Our residents and children will continue to not be given due regard, and we as a nation will be weaker because of it. I like to think Canada really is the best place in the world to live, but it isn't for all of us. We tend to think that racial problems are isolated to the United States, but they aren't. Wake up and smell the coffee for heavens sake!Start to do your little bit to help this great nation. It is written in to our anthem that we will "stand on guard for thee" after all!!
 4月22日 Round 1 Playoff PredictionsHere are my official predictions for the first round of the NHL Playoffs.
  vs  (52-21-9) (43-33-6)
This will be an exciting series between two high flying teams. However, despite the supposed firepower of the Lightning, they were inconsistent at best during the regular season. Look for Spezza, Heatley, and Alfredsson of the Sens to roll over the weak Lightning goaltending. This series could evolve as a high scoring series, depending on how unproven rookie Ray Emery holds up in the playoffs. The Sens are eagerly awaiting number one Hasek to recover from a sore groin. My prediction: Senators in 5
 vs  (52-22-8) (42-31-9)
Montreal goaltending is definitely capable of stealing the show in this series. The Canes are coming in to the playoffs on a bit of a slide 5-3-2, with goaltending being a major issue, but their offensive power has been remarkable at times during the season. Look for this series to come down to the wire, with Huet stealing at least a couple of games for the Habs. My prediction: Canadians in 7
 vs  (46-27-9) (44-26-12)
This series features one of the major surprises of the season--the Rangers. Many picked them to not makes the playoffs at the onset of the season. Driven largely by the offensive prowess of Jagr, the Rangers have been a hard team to stop all season. The problem is that they are playing the surging Devils who are 10-0 coming in to the playoffs. If the offense of Jagr and company can somehow solve Brodeur, they might have a chance. I however do not see them doing so. My Prediction: Devils in 6
 vs  (52-24-6) (45-26-11)
I think this series is the toughest to call in the East. The teams are very evenly matched, with very free flowing offence. Buffalo has been a trapping team in the past, but not anymore. No lead in this series will be safe, and may very well come down to whether the big line of Forsberg, Knuble, and Gagne can get rolling. Buffalo has the advantage of two goalies who have played well in the clutch all season, but I'm not sure that the Sabers can match the offense of the Flyers. My Prediction: Flyers in 6
  vs  (58-16-8) (41-28-13)
I hate to see Canadian teams get walked on, but this series has potential to do just that. The Wings have easily been the top team in the regular season, and the Oilers just barely squeaked in to the playoffs. However, those pesky Oilers always seem to show up in the playoffs, so I expect them to steal a couple games from the Wings. Also, look for this series to be very hard fought. The Oilers are known to go down easily. My Prediction: Red Wings in 6
 vs  (53-23-6) (43-30-9)
This series has the making to be one of the best in the first round. Two very gritty teams, with above average offensive abilities. I have a feeling that this game will come down to the superior goaltending of the Stars--Turco has been excellent all season. No matter who wins this series, hopefully they will have enough in the tank to do well in round 2! I expect some very exciting games. My Prediction: Stars in 7
 vs  (46-25-11) (43-27-12)
This series features two teams who really don't like one another. The Ducks are no longer a pushover team. Selanne has had a breakthrough season after the lockout year, and Giguere is back to his form when the Ducks made a major playoff run a few years ago. This will be quite the goaltending battle between the Kipper and Giguere. The question is, can the defence of the Flames sufficiently out duel the offense of the Ducks? The Flames will need their big guns to step up more than they did in the regular season. In the end though, look for Sutter to have his boys whipped in shape, and for the Kipper to steal the show! My Prediction: Flames in 5
 vs  (49-25-8) (44-27-11)
This series features one of the best second half teams in the NHL, the Sharks. The Preds have a lot ot prove to the media, who have all but written them off after losing number one goaltender Vokoun. I personally don't think they have a chance against the unstoppable combination of Thornton and Cheechoo. Look for this to be a total white wash. My Prediction: Sharks in 4
 4月13日 North Pole Sunset This is a photo of the sun setting over the North Pole, with the moon at its closest point. I thought this photo was particularly nice, so I decided to share it with you all. Cheers! 4月8日 Playoff Worthy? Coming in to tonight's action, the Vancouver Canucks are sitting two points out of playoff contention, with -1 games in hand. They have but five game remaining. All five are against teams they are chasing for a playoff position (Flames, Ducks, Sharks x2, Avalanche). They pretty much need 9 or 10 of the remaining 10 points.
The question is simple-- do you think the Canucks will make the playoffs???
 (please don't make us have to add "Vancouver" to this picture!) 3月31日 Riddle Time!I haven't posted any riddles in a while. Give these ones a whirl, and move up in the super cool riddle scoreboard standings (wow, I'm really getting lame)!
1. Would you rather a tiger to attack you, or a lion?
2. Lets see if you remember your grade 10 math! If the difference between two numbers is 10, and their product is 13, what is the sum of their squares?
3. The perimeter of the earth is ~40,000 km. If I gave you a length of wire 10 metres longer (0.01 km) than the earth's perimeter, could anything (rat, snake etc) creep under it?
4. A reservoir has 4 taps. The first takes two days to fill the reservoir, the second takes three days, the third takes four days, and the fourth takes six hours. How long will it take all four taps to fill the reservoir if used at the same time?
Check out my riddles category for more. Good luck!
 3月29日 What's Wrong with ME?!?!Can someone PLEASE tell me why I can't find a bloody job? I have a Bachelor of Science degree, TONS of volunteer experience, and some very good job experience to boot. I've even been accepted to more than one doctorate program. So basically, I'm good enough to be a physician, but not good enough to wash dishes? Sure, I can only work from now until September, but that's the same for countless other university students.
It probably doesnt help that I live in a butt f*** nowhere, where you basically have to perform sexual favours to get a job, but still. I've applied to multiple jobs for the school district, and government that are specifically designed as summer jobs for university students. I've worked two summers as a labourer at CFB Comox, gaining tons of relevant experience, but I'm positive some principals kid will be working for the school district, even with absolutely no experience. But here's the kicker, I haven't even been phoned for a single interview! I want to know where the equity in hiring is in our country. Do I sound bitter?
At first I was thinking that I would hold out for a well paying, respectable job. But now, I'll do anything (perhaps short of licking sweaty feet). There are tons of jobs (you would think) working at McDonalds, Walmart, or the likes. The problem you might ask? I'm being turned down for being OVERQUALIFIED! Apparently, because I possess a higher education, I am not able to work fast food or any of those other miserable jobs. So really, not only is my B.Sc. nothing more than a piece of paper on the wall, it is also stopping me from getting a simple job.
Dammit! School is bloody expensive. My tuition alone is $15,100 per year, not including books, medical equipment, or any of those other costs. Not only that, but I have to live in the most expensive city in Canada--Vancouver. Sure, I'm getting a $135,000+ loan from the bank/government. Big deal! I've got to pay that damn thing back without going bankrupt. I'm already in enough debt from my first degree. Do you realize that once I reach the maximum for my loan, my annual interest will be $9000? ANY JOB will help. If for some miracle you are reading this, and are like, "Hey, I am hiring right now," and live on Vancouver Island, let me know! I'm a good person! I Promise! Haha.
The moral of the story: undergraduate degrees are nothing more than fancy toilet paper (for biology at least). Be prepared to spend another 4 years in school if you want to find a fricken job!
 |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
发送私人消息
订阅 RSS 源
告诉朋友
添加到 Live.com
添加至您的网络
订阅提醒|
|
